Oct 17, 2020
I am with you….!
The topic may be frightening you not to read the whole blog post but I promise it will be better than you expected. Okay! Let me just clear something. This is not those blogs on “100 ways to say I love you” or “10 reasons why isn't your relationship working”. This is not even dating advice but a perspective of relationships on different levels.
First, let me start with the movie Titanic (1997) where Jack drowns in the water and Rose lives :). I was kidding! Let me have a perfect start now. “Relationships suck! They suck at different levels!”. I assure 7 out of 10 people have skipped the post by now. Because those guys are happily involved in a relationship and the rest aren’t so they are now curious about what I am going to tell to validate their feelings. Booyah! I am not going to defend it either! So what’s this post all about?????? Why all these intriguing introductions. C’mon guys! I was bored and wanted to have some entertainment via my post. Was that so bad? (It was, right?. Okay slipping onto the context).
I am not a marriage counselor nor a matchmaker. Neither a dating app (although that would be cool). I am just a normal, specifically very normal person who thought relationship is nothing but a vague excuse for a guy to slip into a girl’s pants ( or the other way. This works for me). Growing up I understood that relationships are nothing but a part of your youth publicity especially for dating the cooler chicks. Fifty shades added fuel to my thoughts. Adulthood had changed perspectives, more obviously not only because of the maturity (it could be of a reason) but also this is the age or rather the zone you think about “settling down”. So you got to have a relationship for doing that. If you are born in an Asian Tamil livelihood, then no worries, just graduate, and the groom will be there at your graduation ceremony. If you really want to do some ‘çoming out of the cage’ stuffs then here’s what you need:
#1. Stable financial record (now and later): Sure your parents aren't going to approve any of that, so you will be kicked out of home and you got to hit the road. Find your own place(cheaper the rent better the life), cook for yourself (please do have Wifi for Youtube), write motivating blogs/tweets, and die alone(Hell yeah! No one’s going to marry the Asian Tamil girl living alone in a rented house. You know why? He ain’t getting any dowry)
#2: A girl best friend: The one who is financially independent (especially earns more than you so you can manage ‘your’ debts at time), who brings the car to move out your stuff, buys your tissues and ice cream, holds your shoulder and fiercely says “Screw them! You can find your own love. No one needs that dumb old guy (no offense dude)”, which she should be fully aware isn’t gonna happen.
#3: Freely available social media platform(/ blog website, if she is too smart to express feelings): A platform where you can vent to 1000s of strangers expecting someone would turn out to appreciate what you did and propose to you on the same night.
#4: A tinder account under a fake name. You should be on tinder or bumble looking out for the other available guys but make sure you don’t catfish. So you got to hide your identity for the sake of the societal prestige (especially Tamil) which would not help in the least in finding a groom.
#5: Guts: A lot of them, especially if you are a grown-up woman. Everyone in your neighborhood is going to sh*it talk about you and your decisions, with you as well as your parents so that the grudge is maintained with the same gravity, by the power vested in them.
After all these phases if you find the right person, trust me, it's not going to be a bed of roses. I understand life is never a fantasy. I always wish life would have been so easy if could have able to kiss a frog so it turns into a ‘handsome prince’ (handsome being the keyword) and we will get together and live HAPPILY EVER AFTER. But the reality is quite different. Whatever you go through for your life, maybe a job or property or vehicle or anything; the effort and the emotion is personal. But when it comes to the relationship it is a two-end play; sometimes one-end cut loose may break the whole thing apart. I know it is so obvious and a lot of people are writing about this. My point being its relativity on different levels.
There might be couples who are together for more than 10+years, 5+ years, or one month or even just started dating. For anyone, effort and emotion are the same. For someone, it is a one night stand. For someone, it's a whole life commitment. If you figure it out correctly, then it is a win. Let’s forget about the one-night stands. Let us try to ship this content a bit further and deeper.
Relationships in the first phase are awesome, beautiful, superb, enchanting, entertaining, fun. Whatever the possible synonym for perfect fits in there. Everything is new and full of suspense which makes it perfect enough to hold a bit longer. Tagging each other, But with time, when your ‘being crazy about each other’ phases are over your brain starts to pop out and states that the heart is just an organ that pumps blood to the other body parts.
I have always been enchanted by the idea of how everyone believes that there will be a soulmate for each of them and are waiting for the right time to get bumped into each other. I honestly never thought in such a way. For me, relationships were a combo of chemistry and biology. An act of hormones with a bit of emotions on top. It is never easy to find a person with the perfect sync of conversations, interests, emotions, and sexual heat. Even if you find them and there would always be a 50% chance of you not ending up with them. Imagine they are already married or they being gay/bi. Things aren’t real according to all the weird perceptions but yet we always try to believe them so that we are fascinated by facts like “this marriage was made in heaven” or “the universe is sending a message that we should be apart”.
Anyone could preach anything. But all it takes a bit of patience, maturity, intelligence, and yeah (well not necessarily) a pint of romance to hold a relationship up to a forever love story.
