Checklist updated

An eye-catching lamp post in the APEC House in Busan, South Korea.

This is just a list of things that are wrong with me:

  1. I am a girl and yeah that is wrong. ‘Coz it is wrong to be a girl in this whole world where I am judged by my breast size and encountered for the cleavage.
  2. I am fat and yes it is wrong. No matter what I could say that I have a beautiful personality inside me I am rated according to my waist size and makes strangers overstep into my dietary concerns.
  3. My thoughts are not still. I often have a change of opinion on the same matter. And it takes me on a rollercoaster I didn't ask for. It’s like riding the waves on a broken surfboard. I am sure to sink into my realm of irrational thoughts.
  4. I am an introvert who chooses solitude for partnership and often called by names of crazy bitch, weirdos, or creeps.
  5. I am a writer. An introvert writer blogging about depression, anxiety, and dark thoughts often make me the worst of the cohort.
  6. I am in my late twenties and not yet married. Even I am engaged and in a long-distance relationship with my fiancee; people find it unusual for me not to be with him and eventually come up with a decision that I am emotionally paralyzed.
  7. I am clumsy physically and mentally. So I slip easily into random things/persons and break my heart very often.
  8. My mouth never shuts and made a pact with my brain to spit out every other thought without my consent. Rarely ended in good stuff but mostly this ended in shit. I’ve tried to please my tongue over situations and utterly failed at points.
  9. I am a misarray, a pile of shit misplaced, messed up combo of emotions that no one understands. Every quark, gluon, and the electron has forgotten their orbit in my universe creating a void and numbness indulging my mind into a hollow cavity.
  10. I am a paradox. Confusing and contradicting; at times.
  11. I am born at the wrong place, at the wrong time and I am with the wrong people. I don’t fit in here. It is suffocating. I am often hurt and heal myself.

But I wonder…

Is everything around me is wrong? or Everything about me is wrong?

--

--

--

Nothing but scribbled thoughts

Love podcasts or audiobooks? Learn on the go with our new app.

Recommended from Medium

Depression/Anxiety/Self Harm Part 1

‘Oh’ ~ On feeling emotions for the first time at 34 years old.

Did You Know Your Anger Can Be Re-Purposed To Be Useful?

What is Sober Living?

On Grief

3 Signs You’re Having A Quarter Life Crisis

“Why Stress Makes Us a Victim, and How to Become The Hero”

“Seeing how happy he was in this makes me sad”

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Blank Voice

Blank Voice

Nothing but scribbled thoughts

More from Medium

Life is a collection of PHASES: Find out your Favourite phase of life

phases of life

Follow Your Energy

Art of skin

Make This: Gluten-free Tablea Truffles